The short answer
- Crying at drop-off is normal and very common. It is a healthy sign of your child's bond with you.[1][2]
- A short, loving, consistent goodbye works better than lingering or sneaking away.[1]
- For most children it eases within a few weeks. If it continues daily for a long time, talk to your paediatrician.[1]
ಸಾರಾಂಶ: ಶಾಲೆಯ ಮೊದಲ ದಿನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮಗು ಅಳುವುದು ಸಹಜ. ಬೀಳ್ಕೊಡುವಾಗ ಚಿಕ್ಕದಾಗಿ, ಪ್ರೀತಿಯಿಂದ "ಬೈ" ಹೇಳಿ, ಹೇಳಿದ ಸಮಯಕ್ಕೆ ಮರಳಿ ಬನ್ನಿ. ಪ್ರತಿದಿನ ಒಂದೇ ರೀತಿ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಮಗುವಿಗೆ ನಂಬಿಕೆ ಬರುತ್ತದೆ.
Why does my child cry when I leave?
Separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. Babies and toddlers are learning that people and things still exist when they can't see them, and they don't yet understand that you will come back.[2] Starting preschool is often the first time a child spends several hours away from family, so tears are expected.
Our teachers see it every year: many children settle into play soon after the parent leaves. The goodbye itself is often the hardest part, for the child and the parent!
Before school starts
- Visit the school together. Let your child see the classroom and meet the teacher.
- Talk about school positively: "You'll paint, sing songs and play with new friends."
- Practise short separations, such as leaving your child with a grandparent for an hour. Paediatricians recommend practising the goodbye routine before the first day.[1]
- Read picture books about going to school.
- Get sleep and mealtimes on track a week or two before. A tired, hungry child finds goodbyes harder.
At drop-off
What paediatricians recommend
- Create a goodbye ritual, such as a special wave, a high-five or "three kisses", and do it the same way every day.[1]
- Keep it short and sweet. If you linger, the anxiety lasts longer too.[1]
- Don't come back because your child is crying. Returning teaches them that crying brings you back.[1]
- Always say goodbye; don't sneak out. It builds trust.[2]
- Tell them when you'll return in words they understand ("after lunch and nap time") and keep your promise.[1]
- A comfort object from home, like a small toy or hanky, can help.[1]
- Stay calm and smile. Children read our faces. If you look worried, they will worry too.
After school
Greet your child warmly and ask specific questions: "What did you paint today?" or "Who did you play with?" Praise their bravery. Avoid saying "Did you cry today?", which keeps the focus on the sad part.
When to ask for help
Separation anxiety usually fades as children settle. It is rare for it to continue every day beyond the preschool years.[1] If your child's distress is very intense, lasts many weeks without improving, or affects sleep, eating or health, speak to your paediatrician, and talk to us too.
We're in this together. Our teachers help new children settle in every year. Talk to us before the first day about your child's likes, fears and comfort items, and ask us how your child is doing. We're always happy to share.
References
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org. "How to Ease Your Child's Separation Anxiety." www.healthychildren.org
- Nemours KidsHealth. "Separation Anxiety" (for parents). kidshealth.org
This article is for general information for parents and is not a substitute for advice from your child's doctor. Government admission rules can change; please confirm the latest rules for your academic year.